Near the little village Stanley
Stands a place called Gowrie Farm
The little man who lives there
Is as tall as my short arm
His second home is Tayside
He comes there ev’ry night
To drink Bacardi Cola
Until he gets quite tight
He likes a game of dominoes
Playing partners with the boss
And when his play’s not up to scratch
His pal can get quite cross
A tattie fermer is Our Wull
He keeps them in his loft
At times they’re there a bit too long
‘Cos the ones we get are soft
He went to sunny Spain one year
And nearly came a cropper and
Boy he had high jinks
When wearing only ankle socks
He landed in the brink
You’ve heard of the cat and the fiddle
And the cow who jumped over the moon
The dish didn’t do the running –
Wullie ran off with the spoon!!
On our TVs we have a choice
On 4 channels broadcast live
But Wullie brought one back from Spain
And called it Channel Five!!
To tell us when it’s time to close
In the lounge we’re never stuck
‘Cos Wullie comes in bang on time
When it’s eleven o’clock