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Loo Lament Anon Isn't a' thing fine an' comfy noo? There's even carpets in the loo Bit sixty 'eer ago an mair The watteries were sae caul' an'bare!
Nae fancy coloured toilet roll Nae bonny pot - a timmer hole Ye'd nae fin' ony carpet here Some crackit waxcloth on the fleet.
A timmer sheddie six bi fower Leanin'like the Eiffel Tower An' cracks - far holwin' win' blew in The reef a roostie sheet o' tin.
The W.C. - for Water Closet Ye spent nae time on your deposit For fegs there was nae comfort there An' caul' on bits ye hid tae bare.
Foo Water Closet? That beat me For ilka een wis dry ye see The fancy pot a stable pail I'll nae gang in tae mair detail.
Upon the wa' hung up wi' threed "The Peoples Freen" wis there tae read It had been torn up intae squares So ye just sat there - an' said yer prayers.
The seat wis aften roch an' crackit A files ye'd fine her hin' eyne hackit Ye jerkit up yer drawers an' sark Five meenits - ye were back at wark.
Bit noo-a-days they sit for ages Hoastin' an turnin' ower the pages A cosy place tae sit an' smoke A saft seat - easy on the doke.
I dinna wint auld watteries back Bit Lord be here, the time they tak There maun be oors an' oors lost noo Wi' gaein folk a comfy loo.
(Thanks
to Kate Gairns for this) |
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